Debate 2 Summary: First Take

Looming, pacing, sniffing, stalking.

Threatening to jail her; calling her "the devil;" threatening to call the Attorney General; saying that she has "hate in her heart;"

Praising Putin, bizarrely siding with Putin on Syria, continually referring to "the African-Americans."

Filled with grandiose, incoherent rants, completely off-topic, devolving into shouting, at times actually screaming.

Continuing to refer to sexual assault as "locker room talk."

He was asked three times by Cooper: Have you actually done this behavior?

Each time, he refused to answer the question, evading, stating that “people say this,” until finally, pressed for an answer, claiming a denial.

The fact that it took him being asked three times by Cooper whether he had actually engaged in the behavior, refusing to answer the question each time, until, pressed for a direct answer, finally claimed that he had not it is a sure indicator that he has.

Look for the victims. They are out there.

Psychopathic.

CNN/ORC Results: Who won the debate?

Clinton: 57%

Trump: 34%

YouGov Debate Results:

Clinton 47%,

Trump 42%

Trump Tower, October 9, 2016, 4:50 pm

TRUMP TOWER
October 9, 2016
4:50 pm

DONALD TRUMP sits at his desk. Half-eaten bacon cheeseburgers, wrappers, Diet Coke cans surround him. He is holding his phone, leaning forward, both elbows on the desk.

He is sullen.

He is tweeting.

TRUMP (speaking aloud as he tweets): Everyone who has betrayed me will...lose and...burn in an enormous fire...of disgusting losers...and shame!

(Presses SEND button firmly).

(Scowls. Looks forward).

T (shouts): Diet Coke!

AIDE enters, carrying Diet Coke.

A: Kellyanne said to inform you, sir, that three more Senators have withdrawn...

T (Shouting): Out!

AIDE exits.

T: Where was I? Prep. OK, Prep. (Picks up folder. Opens, reads aloud): " Reforms in the context of U.S. relations with GCC states, especially Saudi Arabia usher in a new era of economic diversification...government transparency...(becoming bored)... a lengthy interview..."

(Throws down folder. Picks up phone.)

(Begins again to tweet):

T: (typing, reading aloud): Bill Clinton is the...Rosie O'Donnell...(smiles) of Presidents. He is fat. She is fat. THEY are fat!

(Presses send).

(Sits still. Scowls).

T (shouting): Kelly! Kellyanne!

KELLYANNE CONWAY enters. She appears exhausted, vainly trying to hide her irritation.

C: Yes, Don.

T: What do you think I should tweet next about Bill? About how Lewinsky was fat?

C (attempting to control her annoyance): I don't think you should tweet anything, Don. I think we should stick with the plan. Radio silence until the debate, then...

T: And then BANG! She comes apart, bing bing bing. I know. But we should build, build up, build up the fear, get ready to attack. Right?

C (putting a false lightness in her tone): I don't know, Don. You're the boss. You're the candidate. You decide.

CONWAY exits.

T: (Tweeting): "Clinton is bad. Like Alicia Machado times 10! She and Bill were never nice to me, even at the wedding. Horrible!

(Smiles).

T: That oughta do it.

Trumptanic

RMS Titanic
10/9/2016

The Titanic is drifting within increasingly frozen waters; hull plates are buckling starboard, & nearly half of its watertight compartments have been opened to the sea.  Passengers are concerned that the ship is sinking, as are the crew.

Nevertheless, first-time captain, and former host of the radio show "Your Rich Uncle" DONALD TRUMP is entirely sure that he "is the best captain ever" and that he is guiding the ship to "the most magnificent trip ever seen."

TRUMP,  First mate KELLYANNE CONWAY, and financier of the ship, STEVE BANNON are on deck. An icy rain is falling.

CHIEF PILOT approaches TRUMP, holding map.

PILOT: Sir, if we continue on this course, we will make direct contact with the Arianne Iceberg at 01800 hours.

TRUMP: (Looking at map). No chance! We're headed for balmy shores! Bermuda, warm, tropic shores, believe me! Straight ahead!

P: You're holding the map upside down, sir.

T: That's...just to get a different perspective, an outsider, a businessman!

P: But your course is heading us straight for the iceberg, Sir.

T: I know how to pilot better than anyone! Better than the Naxy, the Army, the Air Force! Get him out of here! (Sailors forceably remove pilot).

CONWAY: I think he may be right, sir. Remember when we hit the iceberg Curiel? And you said that was because of the Mexicans?

T: (Looking at "Gentleman's" magazine centerfold): No...No...Everything looks fine to me, eh, Steve?

B looks at C helplessly.

B: It was fine when you opened up the "Sailing University" and promised that you could teach people to "sail to the Moon." I stood by you when you fired half the crew because you thought they "looked like Persians" And I even supported you when you said that the Queen had demoted you because she was "bleeding from her whereever." But this is too much!

TRUMP: Looking good! (gives a thumbs up as we hear the ship crash into the berg).

BILLY BUSH (Amidst wreckage): Great job, sir!

Trump Tower, October 9, 2016, 9:12 am

TRUMP TOWER
October 9, 2016
9:12 am

TRUMP is sitting at his desk. Empty McDonalds containers are scattered on the desk & around the room. Kellyanne CONWAY, Steve BANNON, and an AIDE are present.

A: Should I put the Sunday shows on, sir?

T: (Surly): Go ahead. No...leave them off. Go ahead, keep the volume on low.

C: You probably don't need the...distractions, Donald. I'd like to run over the Mideast Policy Briefing again...

T: I've got it. Oil, Saudis, Secret plan, Generals, bomb the hell out of them. I'm fine.

C looks at B helplessly.

B: Look, Don. They're going to come full force on the Access tape, the K-File, god knows what else. You didn't exactly help yourself with the late night tweets...

T: It did help! It helped! Look at Drudge! Look at Breitbart!

B: My people wrote that stuff, Don...

T: It helps! That's the strategy. That's the plan. Attack them 10 times more, 100 times more!

C: Of course, Don. I'd...like you to look at this draft apology...

T: You want me to apologize again, fine. I know how to do it. (Adopts serious mien): 'I'm terribly sorry, truly sorry if I have offended our nation's women...girls..." It's not hard, Kelly.

C: You have to appear genuine, Don.

T: I can appear any way that I want to, Kelly. Besides, they're behind me! Listen to the people in the street down there!

AIDE enters.

A: The demonstrators want their 50 dollars or they're leaving.

C: Let's just go over the Russia briefing...

T: I know it! I know the Russians better than anyone, the Mideast better than anyone, the press better than anyone! Those hypocrites. The press. Any of them would want to, would beg to be with me. It's happened. Tell her, Steve.

BANNON looks at CONWAY, is silent.

T: I will go into the hall. I will be cool & calm, & I will attack her, I will be powerful & sexy & calm and attack her, attack & attack & it's fine. Fine!

A BIG MAC container falls to floor. All is silent.

2016 Daisy Ad

"Daisy Ad," 2016

Transcript:

GIRL (picking flower petals): One, two...

Clip of Trump calling Mexicans "Rapists and criminals;"

G: Three, four...

CLIP of T making fun of a reporter's disability

G: Five, six...

CLIP of T mocking Gold Star parents;

G: Seven, eight...

CLIP of T: encouraging crowd to punch protesters in the face;

G: Nine, ten...

CLIP of Trump stating of Vietnam Veteran John McCain: " I like veterans who weren't captured"

MAN IN NUCLEAR MISSILE OPERATIONS SILO:

M: Ten, nine...

QUICK CUT CLIPS of T stating that "I know more than the Generals on ISIS;" :I have a secret plan to defeat ISIS;" and "I will ask the Generals to come up with a plan in 30 days;"

M: Eight, seven:

QUICK CUT CLIPS of TRUMP UNIVERSITY sign; Judge Curiel; David Duke; Trump Anti-Semitic Ad;

M: Six, Five...

CLIP of T stating: "I refuse to rule out using nuclear weapons on ISIS;"

M: Four, three...

QUICK CUT CLIPS of T praising Vladimir Putin, praising Mussolini, praising Kim Jong-un;

M: Two, one...

QUICK CUT CLIPS of T stating: "If Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her;" "She had blood coming out of her wherever;" "Women? You've got to treat them like s - - t;" "You can do whatever you want, just grab 'em by the pu - - y."

Cut in of nuclear explosion, mushroom cloud.

VOICEOVER: These are the stakes: to make a world in which all of us, men and women, those of all races, ethnicities, and creeds can live, or to go into the utterly self-interested, enraged, vengeful, knowledge-free, impulsive, narcissistic, totalitarian darkness.

Think and vote on November 8th.

The stakes are too high for you to stay home.

Trump's Non-Apology

The very essence of a non-apology, Trump style.

-Many people say that this isn't me.

-Pay attention to someone else--instead of me.

-It doesn't really matter.

-The very words that I spoke--reflecting actions that he has taken again and again--are not really him.

-My mind is not on what I have done wrong, on how I regard our nation’s wives, mothers, and daughters–but, as always, on vengeance.

The truth, obviously, is that he sees nothing wrong with his actions–and he protests the nation’s reaction to them throughout this supposed, disingenuous, hollow, ultimately enraged fraudulent mea culpa.

He is sorry--that he was caught.

These are the qualities that he would have if ever elected President; error, anger, excuses, and forced insincerity in the face of catastrophe.

He is characterologically unable to reflect; to actually see any of his actions as wrong; and to do anything but deflect, minimize, and disclaim responsibility.

The worst qualities for a nation.

Arrogant, impulsive, out of control, thin-skinned and defensive even when faced the most serious of issues.

Utterly, thoroughly, unquestionably unqualified, emotionally and cognitively, to be President. 

TRUMP EMERGENCY NEWS CONFERENCE: OCTOBER 7, 2015

PRESS: Mr. Cosby, Mr. Cosby....

TRUMP: Alright...alright...calm down...calm down. Calm down or I'll grab you by the...

KELLYANNE CONWAY enters from right wing. Whispers in Trump's ear. Exits.

T: I'm ready to take questions.

P: Your remarks meet the legal definition of Sexual Assault. This is a crime in all fifty states. How can a candidate for President speak proudly of such behavior?

T: Many people have said that this shows my knowledge of the law. This was actually a campaign commercial designed to cleverly show my knowledge of sexual assault.

P: But it was made in 2005!

T: Next question

P: Your own staff has described your behavior as "appalling," that your campaign is "done." Your remarks degrade half of the population--wives, daughters, mothers, children--as well as all those who defend & love them. How can you possibly justify such remarks?

T: Frankly, Kate, I think that the idea that I should respect women, that I should treat them as equals, that I should not talk about sexually assaulting them, is just an example of the political correctness that exists today.

P: You are actually saying that, as President, it is acceptable to degrade women, to describe sexually assaulting them?

T: Hold on...I have a bad mic here. Audio! Audio!

P: Mr. Trump, in the same video, you describe your pursuit of infidelity. What kind of a role model is this for American youth?

T: I'm teaching them the value of initiative, of breaking the rules--even if those rules are amoral, narcissistic, selfish, dishonest & disloyal.

P: It's more than that, Mr. Trump. When you describe grabbing a woman by the genitals without her consent, that is the very definition of sexual assault.

T: Assault is an over used term. I prefer to think of it as giving them the "gift of Trump." And if I should win, that's what everyone will get--whether they want it or not.

Trump's Daisy Ad: First Thoughts

You wouldn't hire this person to be your doctor, your lawyer.

To watch your children.

To clean your pool when your children are at home.


He has immediately lost half the electorate.

Then on top of that, all men who defend women from being seen and treated in this abusive manner.

It is repulsive.

It is fundamentally degrading of half of our population.


If Paul Ryan stands beside him this weekend, he may as well write off any hope for 2020.

As well as for his personal character, which will be permanently tarnished.

Wives, mothers, children will all see him standing beside this man.

As has been reported, such actions as described meet the legal definition of sexual assault.


Donald has his Troll Army out in desperate full force.

There's no countering this career-ending debacle.

There's no countering his own words.


As reported by CNN, members of Trump's own staff and former supporters find the actions "appalling,"

Saying: "I don't know how any woman can vote for Trump after this."

Vice Presidential Debate Summary

KAINE: Trump has stated that he would support nuclear weapons for South Korea, Saudi Arabia, and Japan. How can you possibly defend that?

PENCE: He's not a career politician.

KAINE: Trump has stated that Mexicans are rapists and criminals. How can you possibly defend that?

PENCE (pause): Well...he's not a career politician.

KAINE: Trump has called for entire nations and religions to be banned from the United States, despite the fact that this is unconstitutional. How is any defense for this whatsoever?

PENCE: (Attempts to look serious): He's...not a politician, by career.

KAINE: Trump has supported the dictator Vladimir Putin, has actually said that this totalitarian, repressive autocrat is a better leader than Obama. How can you possibly defend that?

PENCE: Not a career politician is he.

KAINE: Trump has trafficked in wild conspiracy theories, including five years of maintaining the “Birther” fantasy that the President of the United States was born in Kenya. How can you possibly support this?

PENCE: In career terms, not politician he is.

KAINE: Trump has business conflicts across the globe, has been billions of dollars in debt to those entities. Would he be looking out for the national interest or his own?

PENCE: Politician. Not. Career. Is he.

KAINE: Trump did not even know that Russia had invaded Ukraine. He was unaware that Russia was in Crimea--two years after it occurred. How could he be trusted to even know the basics of foreign policy?

PENCE: No politician, not he, has he been. Careerly.

KAINE: Trump has actually said that he knows more than the generals about ISIS. And that he has a “secret plan” to defeat ISIS. Then, he said his secret plan was to ask the generals what to do. How can he possibly be trusted to handle such dangerous issues?

PENCE: H.I.N.A.C.P.

MODERATOR: That concludes our debate.

Trump, PTSD, Veterans, and "Strength"

At a Q and A with a group of Veterans in Herndon, VA today, Trump opined that those who develop PTSD are not "strong" and "can't handle it."

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of PTSD from Trump--among the group that he purports to care about most.

The diagnosis of PTSD has nothing to do with whether a person is "weak" or "strong," or whether they can "handle it."

It is a neurological illness that can beset people of great strength.

Even our strongest.

What this fundamentally demonstrates is that:

-Even when significantly reined in by his handlers;

-Following disaster after disaster;

-Once again, Trump simply does not know the basic facts about which he speaks.

Be it the Constitution, the Separation of Powers, the Nuclear Triad, or a very serious disorder--he simply does not know.

Yet, inevitably, without knowing, he speaks--and, as we know from the long biographical wreckage behind him, he then acts on this distorted and inaccurate information.

Even here, among his supposedly most prized target group, his essential biases shone through:

A world of the strong and the weak. Those who can handle and those who cannot.

And his essential view of those who suffer as weak--leaving a nation and a world of strong, valiant suffering completely beyond his awareness, knowledge, or comprehension.

With regard to PTSD and strength, nothing could be further from the truth.

A Letter From A Young Girl

From:

Miss Grace Bedell

Dear Mr. Trump,

I am a little girl only 11 years old. I hope you won't think me very bold to write to such a man as you are.

I am writing to ask you: Why do you have to be such a narcissistic, monomaniacal, uncontrolled, uninformed, remarkably thin-skinned, impulsive, inaccurate, deceitful, entirely self-absorbed person?

I am only a young girl, but I have never seen some one running for such a high office engage in such lunatic, absurd, ill-advised, irrational, ludicrous, unwise, ill-considered, incautious, injudicious, senseless, untrue, dishonest, evasive, inflated, destructive and frankly delusional behavior before.

Father says that he has seen it before at the Fair.

Do you think that you could grow a normal personality, so that words that are bizarre, deranged, irrational, irresponsible, paranoid, fictions, misrepresentations, aspersions, calumny, derailed, frenzied, maniacal or of unsound mind, would not issue from your face?

I understand that the ladies like sane people and it would sound so much better because your words would be less psychotic.

Then the ladies would not tease their husbands for voting for someone who is so psychopathic, unhinged, false, distorted, misleading, unscrupulous, self-serving, raving, utterly out of control, and sleeplessly, frantically, easily obsessed with nonsensical rage.

I have got a little baby sister she is nine weeks old and is just as cunning as can be.

When you direct your letter direct to Grace Bedell, Westfield, Chautauqua County, New York.

I must not write any more. Please answer this letter right off. Good bye!

Sincerely,

Miss Grace Bedell

Trump Speech in Pennsylvania, Oct 1, 2016

TRUMP: Thank you. You're welcome.

"I'm glad...glad...to be here in Pennsylvania today...where the people are free...not...not in beauty paegants. They are not. (Sniffs). You can look anywhere from New York to Texas...Taxes...Taxes! Who? Who sent them? The postmark was from New York! (He is shouting).

KELLYANNE CONWAY emerges from right, smiles waves to crowd, injects TRUMP in right arm. Trump becomes more slack, somewhat more relaxed.

T:  The problem with Hillary...crooked...Hillary...is that she does not have the balance...the control....to fix our nation's problems...(words begin to slur, seems disoriented. Takes phone from pocket. Opens Twitter. Begins to type out tweet, speaking it aloud):  

T (typing and reading aloud): Alicia Machado is our nation's biggest problem. (Smiles like child, pleased at what he wrote). We should build a wall separating...Venez...(asks audience "How do you spell Venezuela?," shakes head) Venez & U.S. to keep Alicia out.  She is...(thinking) not nice to me. (Sends. Looks up. Surprised to see audience. Remembers he is there).

T: That should hit her hard, right? (Snaps head back, imitating person being hit, then flails hands, in mocking reaction). Big hit. Big one. I do, Melania. Don't say that. (Sees C waving anxiously, shaking her head from wings). What? What? Oh, right.

Crime. We have to stop crimes, keep our...streets safe from...people who steal...steal...steal taxes. My taxes! Who took those pages? I said, no one...no one is supposed to know until after. Now they know...they know...

T sits down on stage in crossed legs position, looks downcast, frowns.

Alert AV crew turns music on audio system, playing "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

T leaps to podium.

T: "Who did that? Who did that to my microphone? Bad microphone! It's a bad microphone! They changed the calibration! Who? Who?"

LIGHTS are turned off & ANNOUCER states "The event is over."

Trump and Machado

This is a man running for President, who:

With all of the issues of the nation and the world before him,

Spends his evening obsessively, furiously trolling a 1997 beauty pageant contestant who he feels has insulted him.

I cannot think of a more disqualifying reason for this utterly childish, severely narcissistic, entirely unserious person to ever be President.

Trump Abandons U.S. Presidential Run, Accepts Dictatorship of Cuba

In a surprise move Thursday evening, Donald J. Trump announced that he was abandoning his campaign for President of the United States in order to accept the Dictatorship of Cuba.

"Why not? In, the U.S., I would have to build up to becoming a totalitarian leader. All of the changes in the laws, the Constitution, Separation of Powers. Too much reading, concentration. Too much work!"

"Here, the dictatorship is ready-made. I've talked with Fidel. It's like with Vladimir, we understand each other. Law and order, put those people who don't see things our way politically where they belong."

"Here, there's no need for 'debates' or 'freedom of speech'" said Trump, making air quotes as he said each of the phrases. It's just up to the Palace, through the doors, into the Throne--not so classy, we'll have to work on that--and bing bang boom, you're in."

"And the hotels and casinos. There's nothing here! I can have a Trump Plaza, a Trump International, and Trump Village on every street! Everywhere you look--nothing but Trump, Trump, Trump!"

When asked how he thought his U.S. supporters would react to such news, Trump stated that "the 'low education' voters will probably be upset, but they'll get over it. Not big thinkers, that crew. And, look, we'll give them vouchers to come here, they can gamble, see a show. It will be just like Atlantic City--huge, a huge, huge, success."

"I already know they key words in Spanish to lead--Dinero and Adios!" said Trump, "and we'll bring Oreos and Carrier here--it's hot!"

"So say "adios" to President Trump and get ready to bring your dinero to "El Dictador!" said Trump as he climbed into an armored limousine. "And we'll have to bring Ford here, A.S.A.P. The cars here are horrible. Disgusting!" finished Trump, wiping his hands on his pants as he drove off, surrounded by a fleet of armed military bodyguards, into the Havana night.

Trump Blames Bad Microphone For Lincoln Assassination

CNBC Studios
New York

BECKY QUICK: So, Mr. Trump, if I understand you correctly, you're saying that your debate microphone is responsible for the Lincoln Assassination.

TRUMP: It was! It was bad! A bad microphone! Many people have said that. And crooked Hillary Clinton. You know...how they say in baseball, a Double Hitter? They were the Double Hitter of the Lincoln Assassination.

QUICK: Mr. Trump, the Lincoln Assassination took place in 1865. How would it even be possible for either of them to have been involved?

TRUMP: I've sent teams...teams...back to look for this. They are saying amazing things, amazing things, that they've found. Incredible things.

QUICK: How would it even be possible...

TRUMP (Interrupting irritably): Look. Believe me. I have seen this. Unbelievable evidence. Just unbelievable. A disaster. One of the great catastrophes of all time. Horrible. Terrible. Disgusting. (Wipes hands on pants).

QUICK: But John Wilkes Booth was proven...how...

TRUMP: How? They walk in. They walk into the booth, or the veranda, or whatever they call it, boom. It's done. I've seen it. They committed this. They invented this.

QUICK (Shaking head): So you blame...

TRUMP: There's only one thing to blame. The mic! And Hillary. I just know that they did this, they got us into a mess the likes of which this country has never seen, walked in, forty-five degree angle, went into Henry Ford Theater, wherever, and boom, finished, done. The mic and Hillary. Crooked Hillary! And I promise that my first act as President will be to rescind the assassination, rescind it entirely, even if I have to use Article Seventeen of the Constitution, I'll do it. I'm the only one who can do it. And I'll get it done.

QUICK (Pauses): We'll be right back.

Debate 1

Arrogant.

Ignorant--even of basic facts.

Temperamentally unable to stay calm, truthful, anything but out of control for more than five minutes--interrupting the moderator and the candidate constantly, unable to stay on topic for more than a few seconds, constantly turning to wild irrelevancies, falsehoods, and diversions throughout;

Keeping to his Politifact ratio of a falsehood every three sentences.

Admitting to paying no taxes, to stiffing thousands of hard working laborers, workers, employees.

Trump showed himself as the chaotic, impulsive, unscrupulous, easily triggered to rage candidate that we knew him to be.

An angry, uncontrolled, uninformed, remarkably thin-skinned, impulsive, entirely self-absorbed child--the narcissist parle de resistance.

He cannot change this. He would be this way in office--with the nuclear codes at hand.

He showed the truth:

He is temperamentally entirely unfit and fundamentally dangerous to be President of the United States. 

Trump, Conway, and "The New Truth"

MSNBC Studios
New York

Brzezinski: We're asking why he lied about Lester Holt, calling him a Democrat. He's a Registered Republican.

Conway: He didn't lie.

B: Umm...I think he did.

C: Mika, a lie would mean that he knew the man's party registration.

B: But, Kellyanne--if Trump didn't know, why would he say that Holt was a Democrat?

C: That's the genius of Mr. Trump. He has a mind that actually transcends knowledge, where it's the words themselves, the way he says them, the effect that they have on the people--that's what's important.

B: So, your saying that, as far as Mr. Trump is concerned, it's how he sounds, how he appears, rather than facts or truth, that actually matters.

C: Mika, who knows what's really true? That's why Mr. Trump has taken the bold new stance of putting aside all information & fact entirely, & simply relying on the words that emerge from his mouth. They are the truth as far as Mr. Trump is concerned.

B: So you are saying that the reason that Trump has been found to lie in every third sentence is because he is actively trying to reject knowledge? To evade facts entirely?

C: It's not evasion, Mika. It's the creation of a fantastic new reality, a Trump reality, where 70 years of gluttonous self-serving is actually a way of showing people an exciting new way of living; where ignorance of the Constitution, Foreign & Domestic policy, or even grade school civics is actually evidence of a pristine open mind. Where $2 billion in debt & six bankruptcies are evidence of success! And where Putin isn't Trump's Stalinesque totalitarian model & latest controlling lender, but our happy, warm new friend. Freed from the slavery of "fact" (CONWAY makes air quotes) --it makes a beautiful picture for America.

B: None of it is true, Kelly.

C: If all goes well, we'll soon be scanning Twitter feeds for such "truths."  And we'll be starting with yours.

THIS WEEK: Trump and Conway on Slavery

THIS WEEK STUDIOS
Washington, DC

Stephanopoulos: So, if I understand you, Ms. Conway, Trump is saying that slavery wasn't so bad.

Conway: Look at the facts, George. Plantations had many of the features you can find at homes across the nation, even Mr. Trump's Mar-a-lago. Large fields made for daily exercise.  Guest houses with rustic primitive features valued by many of today's finest artists. Shackles to prevent them from straying into dangerous, harmful areas. This was protection, George. Some would call it rejuvenating, with many of the simple, pastoral amenities of a Jackson Hole.

S: You aren't seriously saying that Trump compares slavery to a luxury spa?

C: Mr. Trump is an expert on luxury spas, George, & has established them across the world. Singapore. Saudi Arabia. Congo. The Sudan. Why, I understand that he is in talks now with Joseph Kony to create a new resort for Mr. Kony's troops & his guests. Why shouldn't everyone be able to have the same treatment?

S: The problem is that Mr. Trump is saying that African-Americans had better conditions when they were slaves--without freedom. What does that say about how he would treat African Americans if he was elected?

C: Freedom is overrated, George. Mr. Trump was just speaking with Mr. Putin. They both agreed that what matters is safety & strength, & someone to provide it. In fact, they're talking about creating those conditions together, to protect all Americans from the dangers of such freedom. We really don't think enough about that, George.

Mr. Trump knows that if they respect & praise him, he can treat them well in return. And isn't that what all people, all Americans really want?

S: Americans want freedom, KellyAnne. America is based upon the promise of that freedom.

C: Mr. Trump promises them so much more--borders that have walls; streets that are patrolled from dawn 'til dusk to keep them free from disruption. Sometimes, George, it takes a chain to set people free.

S (pauses): We'll be right back.

SECRET: Trump Debate Prep Plans 1

SECRET: TRUMP DEBATE PREP PLANS 1:

1) Always be sure to bring the briefing books on the plane so they believe that you aren’t preparing;

2) Kellyanne has reduced the foreign & domestic policy info to brief twenty word “MiniCards” that you can easily memorize;

3) You may be asked a question not on the MiniCards. Pivot to:

-General boasting: “I will be the best at this!" “They have been the worst at this!” etc. This draws attention away from your lack of knowledge;

-Change the Subject: Try to avoid the fact that you are covering for a lack of knowledge. Create rage to divert attention;

-Promise, promise, promise: Promise jobs. Promise that you will eliminate ISIS. Promise anything. Truth, fact, & follow through, as you know from long experience, are irrelevant. Media are easily fooled by this.

4) Provoke and Divert:

-You have the MiniCard phrases that, for the media, will make you sound informed.

When pressed on issues of actual depth: Provoke and divert. Attack in any way–the truth of the attack, as you know, does not matter.

Media, especially cable networks, will be drawn to the “conflict” & thereby easily duped, describing you as “surprisingly knowledgeable” “characteristically combative”, etc.

They will not realize you are covering for lack of knowledge.

5) If pressed for substance & facts in questions and followups, use the Four GoTos :

a)  GoTo1: Claim that you are “the best," regardless of topic;  your opponent “the worst;”
b)  GoTo2: Claim that you are being treated unfairly;
c)  GoTo3: Use the phrase “some people have mentioned” followed by a personal attack;
d)  GoTo4: Repeat the phrase “Believe me.”

100 Malignant Narcissists Come Out For Trump

100 Malignant Narcissists Come Out For Trump

Today, in a show of non-empathic camaraderie, 100 severe narcissists came out in support as fellow grandiose, thin-skinned, semi-delusional brethren to their standard-bearer, Presidential candidate Donald J. Trump.

"Trump reflects well on me" said narcissist Edward O'Neill, beneath a poorly designed wig & masked by an orange tan of a color not found in nature. "I'm stronger, greater, & more important than everyone else. Even him. And don't tell me differently. Are you telling me differently? Are you?" he asked, his veneer of superficial charm giving way to a growing narcissistic rage.

"The problem with the other candidates is that they aren't paying enough attention. To me." said longtime grandiose self-deluder Aaron Josephs. "When Trump demands that people accept his completely off-the-top-of-his-head ideas as concrete facts, ridicules Latinos, African Americans, and women, it reminds me of just how strong, powerful, & completely unconcerned with anyone but myself I can be."

The 100 narcissists attempted to unroll & hang a large banner reading "Trump: You are almost as great as us," but were constantly distracted by the mirrored surfaces of the buildings around them, & eventually wandered off to comb their hair, wipe stray tanner from their hands & shirts, or simply to admire their own profiles.

"Trump" said O'Neill, as he carefully admired his own reflection. "He cares about himself. The rest is just a pose, a charade. He'll say anything to get what he wants--which is an endless stream of praise & admiration. He's never sought anything else, really. Ever. Never a page of policy. He doesn't even understand the Constitution."

"Just praise, power, & the totalitarian control over others that leads to respect" continued O'Neill, hanging his mirrored sunglasses ostentatiously from his shirt.

"That's the only reason he wants to be President. And that's a man I can understand."