Friday, October 07, 2016


PRESS: Mr. Cosby, Mr. Cosby....

TRUMP: Alright...alright...calm down...calm down. Calm down or I'll grab you by the...

KELLYANNE CONWAY enters from right wing. Whispers in Trump's ear. Exits.

T: I'm ready to take questions.

P: Your remarks meet the legal definition of Sexual Assault. This is a crime in all fifty states. How can a candidate for President speak proudly of such behavior?

T: Many people have said that this shows my knowledge of the law. This was actually a campaign commercial designed to cleverly show my knowledge of sexual assault.

P: But it was made in 2005!

T: Next question

P: Your own staff has described your behavior as "appalling," that your campaign is "done." Your remarks degrade half of the population--wives, daughters, mothers, children--as well as all those who defend & love them. How can you possibly justify such remarks?

T: Frankly, Kate, I think that the idea that I should respect women, that I should treat them as equals, that I should not talk about sexually assaulting them, is just an example of the political correctness that exists today.

P: You are actually saying that, as President, it is acceptable to degrade women, to describe sexually assaulting them?

T: Hold on...I have a bad mic here. Audio! Audio!

P: Mr. Trump, in the same video, you describe your pursuit of infidelity. What kind of a role model is this for American youth?

T: I'm teaching them the value of initiative, of breaking the rules--even if those rules are amoral, narcissistic, selfish, dishonest & disloyal.

P: It's more than that, Mr. Trump. When you describe grabbing a woman by the genitals without her consent, that is the very definition of sexual assault.

T: Assault is an over used term. I prefer to think of it as giving them the "gift of Trump." And if I should win, that's what everyone will get--whether they want it or not.