Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Trump's New Doctor Letter

Harold Bornstein, M.D.

To Whom My Concern,

I have been the personal physician of Mr. Donald J. Trump since 1980. Over the past 39 years, I am pleased to report that Mr. Trump has had no significant electoral problems.

Mr. Trump has reported to me that he has had a recent complete electoral examination that showed only victories in all fifty U.S. States, Guam, and the Virgin Islands. These entirely authentic electoral results, electoral college results, and absentee ballot results were astonishingly excellent.

Over the past 12 months, he has corrected at least 15 errors, slurs, misrepresentations, distortions, evasions, fabrications, aspersions, prevarications & calumnies. Mr. Trump takes 50 repetitions of self-affirming deceptions daily.

His Narcissistic and Psychopathic Personality Inventory test scores are 96 and 98 percent, respectively (low for someone in his astonishing position). His capability & might for producing Republican votes in blue states is breathtakingly, spectacularly, miraculously extraordinary.

Mr. Trump has shown in my observation no form of impulsivity, grandiosity, lack of empathy, destructive aggression, or narcissistic rage. His only other rage was a hair tearing incident which his wife has subsequently denied (see NDA).

He has no history of ever attempting to tamper with, falsify, or otherwise manipulate election results (although he has never previously run).

If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the most electioniest, election-worthy individual ever elected to the presidency.

Harold N. Bornstein, M.D., F.A.C.G.