Thursday, September 08, 2016

Trump University Body Language Class 101

When handing money to a public official, do so delicately & covertly. It helps to put cash inside of an envelope in case ever-present camera phones may be watching

When lying, it is important to attempt to keep head movements and eye shifting to a minimum. This is difficult when, as we have instructed, telling multiple lies within a single sentence. This will become easier & more automatic as you apply our “ Three Lies In Every Sentence ™” technique over the course of your career.

Remember: Any question can be answered with a completely off-topic response, without any substantive information, & without truth if said with emphasis–as if you believe it. The more lies in a paragraph, the better, as the listener will be overwhelmed with analyzing the  multiple untruths, and eventually normalize such falsehoods as “truth”.

Use the Trump E. M. P. T. Y. Method ™ –Emphasis, Multiple lies per paragraph, Provoke to distract from facts; Tremendous lies are seen as more genuine truths; You are rubber, they are glue–to navigate any situation. Remember: Aggression, and Emphasis, emphasis, emphasis! Chop the air with your hand as you speak. Point your finger at the audience.

Say the lie as if you believe it, and no matter how uninformed, ridiculous, deceitful, fictitious, unfounded, or unreal, it will be perceived as true. Emphasis equals perceived truth, regardless of the lie.

As we instructed, practice in front of a mirror, repeating 50 times daily while holding yourself with confidence & command: “I believe my lies.”

When you are asked a question that you don’t know (e.g. ‘What is the Nuclear Triad,” “Where is Africa”), narrow your eyes, lean forward & change the subject to something completely irrelevant.

This is likely to occur often, so you may begin to suffer from eye strain, lower lumbar discomfort or other repetitive stress injury. If so, consult our staff at the Trump University Health Clinic, in the chip cage behind Casino A.

Facial expressions of disgust, disapproval, and disappointment will help to underscore your constant, ongoing lies with reflexive responding in the listener, causing the more vulnerable among them to believe that any contradiction of you is unacceptable, disrespectful & wrong.

Body language can also be practiced on others. When you find yourself in disagreement with others, it is useful & encouraged to a) threaten to punch them;  b) to ‘“throw them out” or have them physically removed from the environment, c) to lock them up, or other ways of controlling their body movements. Contact Adjunct Professor Putin for further specific details on these methods.