Monday, September 29, 2008

Great Moments in American History

The Signing of the Declaration of Independence:

House Republicans: "We were going to sign. We were. We had dipped our quills in the very ink. However, it was then that John Witherspoon made a rude noise, directed at our very standing area. Therefore, we refused to sign."

The Gettysburg Address:
Lincoln: "Four score and seven years ago...Why are you looking at me like that? No, I mean like that. Don't look at me like that. I refuse to continue."


General Eisenhower: " the carrier and to the shore! No...No...I said it nicely. I was just trying to be enthusiastic. No, I didn't mean that you wouldn't get off the carrier. No, that's the usual tone of my voice."

Man's Landing on The Moon:

Neil Armstrong: "That's one small step for man, one giant...What, Buzz? No, I'm not trying to imply anything. No, I've never even thought about that. Yes, we all have the same size suits. No. Size 9. Yes, double E."

The Stabilization of the American Economy in the 21st Century:

"You hurt our feelings."