FROM THE DESK OF
DONALD J. TRUMP
Memorandum of Understanding
Requirements for Debates
1) Mr. Trump will be provided with all questions, in written form, no less than 1 (one) week in advance of the debate. No changes, additions, emandations, or revisions shall be made to these questions on the evening of the debate, or Mr. Trump will be entitled to a) waive the question; or b) leave the stage.
2) All moderators will treat Mr. Trump with complete respect, as due a best-selling author, entrepreneur & statesman. This will include a) Standing when addressing a question to Mr. Trump; b) Including one statement of praise in each question reflecting Mr. Trump's success; c) Bowing after each question;
3) No debate question shall include reference to a) bankruptcies; b) Federal or State cases of racial discrimination; c) Fraud; d) Doctor's letters; e) prior statements regarding race, sex, ethnicity, weight, attractiveness, intention to deport immigrants, intention to have or not have a deportation force, knowledge of the Constitution, knowledge of Federal or State governance requirements, ex-wives, Skittles, Ukraine, Russia, self-portraits of any size or provenance, bone spurs;
4) All credentialed press will be placed in a soundproof cage in the rear of the debate location; credentials will be provided on the basis of "niceness" to Mr. Trump, as defined by Mr. Trump only, & may be revoked up to & including the entire length of each debate;
5) Mr. Trump will be provided with a podium with a) a large campaign sign reading "Trump"; b) text numbers for donations, c) the phrase "lock them all up!"; & d) a Sennheiser Extreme Vocal Experience Microphone; Clinton will be provided with a) a podium consisting of a cardboard box; b) no signage whatsoever; c) no microphone;
6) Clinton will be barred from stating any specific knowledge of foreign or domestic matters, governmental experience, or the Constitution. Mr. Trump may blow a "knowledge whistle" preventing any & all such statements.
